An Ode To Clutter and a Possible Day Job

I’ve been promising myself that I would clean up the clutter in my office since 1971. I’ve bought books, set timers, gotten scads of advice, and even hired at least five different people to help me.

Each book, piece of advice and each decluttering person helped a bit. I won’t be featured on the Hoarder TV show. Over the years my office has even gotten slightly less cluttered and slightly more functional.

But it never gets completely clean. I love the way I can word that, as if the office was going to clean itself. That hasn’t happened either.

I know what it takes to declutter and clean your office. I could even do it if you bribed me a bit. A few dark chocolate bars would do.

Why can I clean yours, but not mine?

I have some theories, especially since I’m noticing more and more how my seemingly non-functional or even destructive behaviors are trying to protect me. My office clutter must be the same.

My parts are trying to protect me and one of them creates clutter

I decided to talk to the clutter as if it were a part of myself, which I think it is. Here is the conversation.

Christy: May I speak to the part of me that clutters the office?

Part: Yes.

C: How do you protect me?

P: I make sure there’s always plenty to do so you’re never bored, and with all these books stacked every place, I make sure you always have plenty to read. That way, you stay smart, and people continue to want you around.

C: Do you think it’s true that people only want me around if I know things?

P: I don’t know. My job is to make sure you are lovable.

C: Thank you for your service. How can I honor your work?

P: I am tired. I would really like less clutter. I don’t have time to think. There might be some good or better things for you to read or study, but I never have time to investigate.

C: So you would like more free time?

P: Yes. This crap all over the place that I have brought into the house makes me tired. I can’t think.

C: How can I help you?

P: Go home and start on the clutter. I will help you. If you get lonely call someone over to help. But keep going. I am really tired of all the crap everywhere. I can’t actually do my job with all this crap everywhere.

C: What job do you really want to do?

P: I’d like to focus your studying on things that matter. Things that could help you make an impact. I’d like to be used for discernment.

C: OK. I’ll get on it now. Thank you.

P: You’re welcome. I’m serious, too. Give me some space and I can give you subjects that will be more meaningful and make a bigger impact. It will be a lot more interesting for both of us.

By the time you read this, I will have either completely decluttered my office, or given up and hired someone to do the whole thing. If you’re curious, email me and I’ll tell you what happened.